Tearing up my Heart
by xsilvershadowx
Summary: Harry has fallen in love, and doesn't know how to tell the one he loves.


I remember the day, nearly two years ago, as if it were yesterday. I was walking down the hall toward Gryffindor tower when I saw her in an entirely new light. She stood out to me like the sparkling dimond that she was. Her golden brown hair fell around her shoulders, tenderly accenting her soft, femine features. It wasn't until that moment that I realized my world would not be right until I was with her.

I have to let her know how I feel. The thought that had plagued me throughout the past two months, two long and difficult months. It constantly entered my head, just like that, it seemed so simple. Yet it was never that simple. Was it love? Maybe? I knew I'd never be brave enough to tell her, what if she turned me down, rejected me. I had felt rejection, and it always left you with an emptiness that could not be easily filled. I couldn't bring myself to it. I couldn't risk our relationship. I hadn't told her for more than two years now, and I only had two months left in Hogwarts. Our final year in Hogwarts, with only two months left before I'd lose my chance.

_It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you _

_But when we are apart, I feel it too _

_And no matter what I do, I feel the pain _

_With or without you _

I couldn't stand near you without my heart aching to be in your arms, yet I could not stand being away from you, not even for a second. Nothing you did helped my situation, the closer you got to me, the more hugs and pats on the back before Quidditch matches, the harder it was to hold back. The only thing stopping me was myself. That night I was sitting by the fire drown in thought, you walked up to me and sat down behind me to rub my shoulders.

_Baby I don't understand just why we can't be lovers _

_Things are getting out of hand _

_Trying too much but baby we can't win _

_Let it go; If you want me girl let me know _

_I am down on my knees; I can't take it any more _

At first I was startled then I gave in to myself and hugged my knees resting my head on them. You whispered in my ear, 'Hey Harry, please tell me what's bothering you so much.' I could feel your soft hair brush up against my cheek as you stopped rubbing my shoulders and rested your head on my shoulder. Even after this I was uncertain if you would love me. You had always been there; I didn't want to lose that. I guess I should have been braver; I never was as brave as people thought I was.

_It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you _

_But when we are apart, I feel it too _

_And no matter what I do, I feel the pain _

_With or without you _

I'm still not sure what happened next. I think I turned to face you and we had slowly leaned in and when our noses were nearly touching, I pulled away. I chickened out. I was as scared. I didn't want to lose you like I had my parents and so many of my friends. It wasn't fair. Why did the thought frighten me so? Probably because I was in love.

_Baby don't misunderstand _

_What I'm trying to tell you _

_In the corner of my mind _

_Baby it feels like we're running out of time _

_Let it go; If you want me girl let me know _

_I am down on my knees; I can't take it any more _

You leaned up and kissed me on the cheek, and I turned away. You leaned up to me and whispered in my ear again, 'I love you, Harry.' At that moment two things happened, first, my heart exploded in joy 

and second, I fled, in fear. Fear that you were lying; fear that you'd be taken from me before I could show you my love for you, fear of fear.

Now I regret that day with all my heart. What I'm trying to say, oh damn it, I can't.

_It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you _

_But when we are apart, I feel it too _

_And no matter what I do, I feel the pain _

_With or without you _

I still am too chicken to tell you how I feel. Still as we stand on Platform 9¾ I'm afraid to speak a word, I carefully plan what I'll say, maybe I'll just put it plainly, 'I love you' or maybe I'll use Shakespeare. No, neither will work. I'll just tell you what exactly I feel.

No a little voice in side my head kept saying. I have to I thought, trying to ignore the small voice of my conscience. I can't live knowing that I gave up my chance.

_Tearin' up my heart and soul _

_when we're apart I feel it too _

_and no matter what I do _

_I feel the pain with or without you _

On this day, I Harry Potter will commit my heart and soul to you. You are the one I want. Now just to tell you that. Deep breaths. You probably hate me, or worse, you probably think I hate you. These thoughts keep popping in my head, ruining my resolve. I barley graduated above Neville, just because I had other things on my mind. I had you on my mind.

There's all my enemies too. The Boy Who Lived, even after defeating Voldemort, is not safe. I can't put you in that kind of danger, I just can't. But you have to know. I'm going to tell you whether it kills me or not.

_It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you _

_But when we are apart, I feel it too _

_And no matter what I do, I feel the pain _

_With or without you _

As I walk up to you I try to keep my composure. I take in one deep breath just before I reach you. "Can I talk with you, alone?" I ask. I was terrified you would say no, after all you had barely spoken to me over the past month, but I had no choice.

Your eyes meet mine, considering for a second before you whisper, 'of course' and we walk away from the crowd. You ask me what I want, impatience and hurt apparent in your voice. I respond by taking your hands in my own and intertwining our fingers, 'I love you. I love you more than life it's self,' I whispered into your ear. You pull away and stare at me. You searched my eyes, fear clear in your own. I suddenly feel highly embarrassed and my head hangs in shame as I step away, muttering a short apology. All I hear is the soft sound of my shoes on the hard concrete of the platform. The next second my breath catchs as I hear your voice. You're calling my name, so I turn, and see you standing right there. You take me in your arms and kiss me right there in front of everyone.

_And no matter what I do I feel the pain _

_with or without you _

I began to weep in joy, when the kiss breaks, "Oh Hermione!!" I cried.

"Harry, I love you with all my heart too." She said. It was just like a dream.


End file.
